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The Netherlands Part I – Prologue

June 12, 2018 by lisahearts 1 Comment

netherlands, amsterdam, groningen, europe, ciee, study abroad, travel, adventure

On June 4, 2011, I landed in The Netherlands where I would be living for 7 weeks. On April 30th of this year, 2018, I returned with my husband. It seemed like the day I would find my way back there would never come, but I’m so happy it finally did.

Man, starting this post was so much harder than I had anticipated. My time in the Netherlands is so important to me, and I just know I can’t relay that accurately. Everything changed for me. My whole perspective on the world as a whole, what is “normal”, and the idea of good and bad. Having grown up in a small town my whole life, jumping into another country with people that lived such different lives than me really opened my eyes. Even the sun rose earlier than I’d ever experienced!

I was there to study city planning, or that’s what it said on paper, but really I was there to experience something new and have the chance to explore another life (and take so many pictures). I learned so much about what makes the Netherlands tick, and it’s hard not to be jealous and harsh on my own country for the decisions we make as a people, government, and even decisions like where we decided to build our streets. I think that might be part of return culture shock. I remember coming back from the Netherlands the first time and feeling this deep frustration over everything the US does. The Dutch do it better. And that’s true about some (a lot) of things, but it’s like comparing yourself to another, totally different person. Take finances for example. Everyone’s budget is different and it can be easy to judge your friend for spending so much on groceries. Man, how can you decide that’s where your money goes? But that friend is a great cook and finds pleasure in cooking and eating seafood. But me, I don’t care that much and just buy cheap bread and cereal, but I spend all my money on video games because that’s what makes me happy. Does that make sense? We all have priorities, and some things work for one person, but not the other. I could buy all that seafood, but man I wouldn’t know where to start preparing it. It’d be a waste.
(This is just an example. I like food and video games)

The time I spent in the Netherlands all those years ago changed my perspective on the world. I always felt like we were right. The US was the one country that everyone knows and gets, and all the others knew they were making weird choices, but decided to go with it. It was vanilla. The default setting. But man, that’s so wrong. We’re just as weird as everyone else. But it’s so easy to think that. As a wife, I have to constantly remind myself that what I think is right and wrong won’t automatically translate to my husband. Even silly things, like the volume of the TV. I get this jittery fear in my guts if it’s too loud because it just feels wrong. I grew up in a very quiet family, but my husband grew up in the opposite, so when it comes to noise, we have to be kind of flexible and understanding of each other. Thankfully, my husband is extremely patient and accommodating to my needs so in general, defers to me (that’s a good thing, right?). But I still can’t help but wonder why we do the things we do like this, and what makes me so uncomfortable in these situations? I think it’s just my culture. My Eggleston ways.

I think the biggest lesson I learned from my time in the Netherlands was to be open and forgiving of others. We are all different and we all have our reasons for why we are like this and why we do what we do. I never realized it until then, but I used to be very judge-y. I still am in ways, but I try to just let people be people. It’s definitely a struggle as to get older. Man, kids and their twitters. I grew up with computers and always felt on top of technology, but after a certain point, I lost track and stopped caring (partially because I’m too cool for that, right?), and man you can lose track really fast! It makes me realize how generations really are so different and it’s soooo hard not to nitpick and complain about those. damn. kids. I think I have more respect now for the elderly who don’t complain about kids and computers. I hope to be like that. To be like the grandma who dances on camera because their grandkid said it would be fun. I hope that even if I don’t understand everything, I embrace it because I’m open and forgiving. I’d rather enjoy where we are together than be a sourpuss and remember where we were. I hope.

So, I don’t understand you. But that’s okay. All I can hope is that you’re doing the best you can for you and the ones you love, and I hope you’re open to me and why I’m weird, and forgiving of me when I hurt you with my weird ways.

There was plenty more to learn during my time. I found more confidence in myself as an individual. It was like starting fresh. No one knew me, so it was up to them to figure out what I was all about without preconceived ideas. That taught me a little bit about myself and my choices. Many of my classmates saw me as a reliable, trustworthy, older sibling and it wasn’t uncommon for me to hear their fears. It was good for me to hear, because I had a lot of my own fears, so now I knew I wasn’t alone, and they knew that too. Even in college I never really socialized with others much. After a particularly bad experience with a roommate, I spent the rest of my college career alone. I moved into a single room, and then eventually an apartment on my own where I didn’t have talk to anyone from school. So, this was kind of my one true experience of living with others. Although we all had our own rooms, we still lived in the same building and convened in the kitchen or on the patio a lot. We all relied on each other a lot. It helped me find who I was among others.

While preparing this post, I looked through my old photographs from my time overseas, and although I can’t remember the all the details, I can feel every day. I felt so unsure and lost, but just kept going. Some days were full of fear and anxiety and others were exhilarating.

 

You might recognize a couple pictures that I posted here about the anxiety and excitement of traveling abroad to Italy.

I would call this the prologue I think. What I really want to share with you is the trip we took a few weeks ago, but it was very important to provide some background on what I experienced the first time. Look forward to part II where I catch you up on our visit this year.

-Lisa

Filed Under: adventures, food photography, lifestyle, personal, travel Tagged With: adventures, amsterdam, ciee, europe, netherlands, study abroad, travel

Return (part 1)

August 15, 2015 by lisahearts Leave a Comment

I’m sitting on our balcony. It’s warm and lightly breezy. My flower garden has delicate pink flowers opening up with petals as thin as tissue paper. Jude is quiet and lounging in the sun behind me and checking up with that little green winged insect he trounced on yesterday. He might not be relaxed at all. His ears are alert, twitching constantly as he hears the sound of the air conditioner motor from next door, the leaves fluttering, and the children announcing that the pool party has started, hurry up! Birds are tweeting and he takes it very personally. My husband is running the water in the kitchen, either washing dishes or making coffee. No doubt both. I put in my request for pancakes and bacon already. Not too big and not too small. I can hear him chuckle as the radio plays on his phone. I feel like I recognize this comedian’s voice but I can’t quite pin it. Bill has told me I’m very good with voices. When we’re watching TV I almost always recognize a voice and can list off all the times I’ve heard it before, what character they played in what show. I’m proud of that because my husband complimented me on it.

I’m constantly reminded that summer is ending. Target has giant pencil cutouts hanging from the ceiling that announce “Back to School” and at work we’re having the calm before the students all arrive back at their respective colleges and catholic school buildings. This time of year has always brought me anxiety. Going back to school was like a sentence to imprisonment. Rules and work and people who didn’t know any more about co-existing with other developing people than I did. Even after being out of school for four (or more) years, I still get that feeling of fear. Suddenly, your freedoms are locked away. Winter comes and your options become limited. Traveling is difficult and avoided. The air becomes too dry for your skin to handle. Your peers become agitated and you do too.

I don’t have a grand follow-up that going to change everyone’s perspective of school and winter. But, things are going to change for me this year. I will have more time to myself. While that excites me, it also worries me a bit. It would be very easy to become complacent with sitting around eating all day and watching cartoons. But, I want to focus. I have aspirations, probably, and during this time of limited exploration, it will then be easier to focus and contemplate the next adventure. While I love being on the balcony writing and resting and gaining inspiration and joy from my flower garden, there comes a time where you need to step into action. I hope I use my time well to grow and pursue my work and life goals.

I promised stories and pictures about my husband and my latest excursion. To be honest, I don’t know how! I’ve written out notes detailing what we ate and where we walked everyday, but how do I present it? As you can see, writing is not my greatest skill. Rambling might be. I guess I will just start by saying, I’m anxious to return. We had loads of trouble actually getting there. Our 4 hours layover in New Jersey turned into a 20-something layover (at which point I had a teary breakdown). The delayed flight turned into a canceled flight after 5 hours of waiting, then another hour in line to find out our next option, then another 2 or three hours waiting for another delayed flight that was canceled as well. We then spent the night at a hotel (which didn’t have ANY coffee ANYWHERE) after arriving around 3AM. The next day we both were in higher spirits, although, my husband somehow was in pretty high spirits the whole day before anyway, despite being the one to sort out all of our complicated flight detours and having to wait in lines lines lines to talk to customer service who have already spoken to 500 angry customers today. Yes, despite all that, he was pleasant to everyone and smiled and laughed when things went awry and held me while I was crying.

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Somehow we got there. After 32 hours of being awake and even more hours of travel, we met with Christina at her B&B and settled in. I remember the under part of my eyes burning for days like they were sun burnt, but I think it was more likely from exhaustion. It took me quite a while to readjust my sleep schedule. I really worked to not go back to sleep after breakfast every morning so I could get used to my new time.

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Bill spent much of the first few days at the conference. We got up at 7am and Christina made us a beautiful breakfast spread of tarts, fresh fruit, yogurt, coffee and juice (I have never fallen so in love with a juice before), meat, cheese, bread (gluten free for me!), and a couple homemade treats like banana bread and strawberry cheesecake. This was my favorite part of the day.

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While Bill was away I would wander. I didn’t know where I was going to go most of the time, but I just walked and walked, wondering what I would find. Sometimes this was fruitful, other times it was just hot. Because it was always hot. 100F, hot. You just get used to putting your hair up so none of it can touch you and accept that you will forever be soaking in sweat.

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I had very little confidence while Bill was away. I did not know the language very well (I was pleasantly surprised when I found Bill spoke it so well – not just for practical reasons), so I was very uncomfortable trying to do anything other than wander. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I eventually learned enough to get around, but even then was still so lacking in confidence that I just mumbled and they still couldn’t understand. I definitely felt like an outsider. When we moved to Milan and Bill was always by my side, I felt much better. It felt more like home to me. But until then, I struggled a bit in Verona.

Meeting Bill after work was a highlight of my day. We went out for pizza – the absolute best pizza of my life! Did I mention they served gluten free pizzas? And that it tasted unlike any other crust I’ve ever eaten? And that it was so springy and tasty that I can never eat pizza again?

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Our pizza dates were often followed by gelato. The smoothest, creamiest, delightful treat on a boiling hot day. It hurts inside a little to be reminded that I can’t just pop back over to this little gelato place any time I want. (I wrote this sentence and instantly asked my husband if we could go out for ice cream)

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One evening we gathered with the rest of the conference guests and ate a big meal at Antico Caffé Dante. We got there around 7PM and were served dessert and coffee by 11PM! I remember my dad telling us about how meals can take several hours. Thankfully, not every meal, but I must say, I do enjoy a leisurely dinner with friends.

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Husband and wife have a lovely dinner at #anticocaffedante in #verona #Italy with #csf2015

A photo posted by Lisa Eggleston (@lisaxhearts) on Jul 17, 2015 at 12:32am PDT

On our last day in beautiful Verona, we took a bit of a trek to visit a gluten free bakery outside the city. Bill unravelled the mystery of public transportation and we set off to Brio. Finally, I felt a common denominator. This was something I could understand. Gluten free food! It was such a beautiful and spacious shop. Something you would see in Kinfolk. This was a truly special place. I would have gotten one of everything (and I almost did) if I could have. I picked out a few cookies and a cake, but the true magic was this wonderful olive bread baguette. I should have gotten three! What a fantastic taste and texture it was. The olives gave it such bright character. What’s the point of eating anything else? They were so kind to use there too. We were giving water and coffee and good conversation. Paula explained in english the ingredients in each pastry. I only wish that we could have gone back again.

We took the adventure of figuring out how to use the bus and stopped by @brioglutenfreebakery today. Joan was so kind and talked with us for a while, asking how our trip has been. She graciously spoke to us in English and explained what was each pastry. I only wish we had time to visit again before we move on tomorrow. #verona #Italy #brio #brioglutenfreebakery #senzaglutine #glutenfree

A photo posted by Lisa Eggleston (@lisaxhearts) on Jul 17, 2015 at 10:09am PDT

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That evening, we sat outside and drank wine in the city. We were to head out to our next destination in the morning. Verona was such a beautiful place. The streets we took to get to the university, or to the cafe, or to the bakery… They had become familiar. Verona had a charm that we didn’t find anywhere else. The old streets and buildings and balconies all had an old soul. I hope we return someday to speak with them again.

Part 2 will cover our time in Milan, our travels back home to the States, transition and overall thoughts. <3

Cuore di Giulietta
Peperino Pizza and Grill
Amorino Gelato
Antico Caffé Dante
Brio

Filed Under: food photography, personal, travel Tagged With: adventure, exploring, food, italy, travel, verona

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I am a photographer living in Pittsburgh with my cute husband and my salty cat. Although I primarily advertise shooting weddings and food, I do a little bit of everything. I love people, stories, feelings, and donuts.

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