I need to tell you something. It’s about feelings and stuff, so just hang on.
I don’t know what I’m doing, really. I still work. I shoot food during the week, and weddings and families on the weekends, but when the winter months roll along and the work slows to a halt, I begin to get discouraged and wonder what the point is. What am I worth? And who needs me? Will I ever be successful?
Even as I write this, I wonder why I’m doing it. Who will read it and why should they? But I’m trying to let go of my fears. Isn’t there a saying about that? Something about being defeated before you even start. That’s my point here. I don’t want to keep doing that. Or not doing the thing because of that. You get it.
I’ve learned a lot from Adriene Mishler this past winter. She is a yoga instructor living and teaching in Texas and her mantra is “Find What Feels Good”. I’m starting to think this applies to the success in my work as well. I need to find my success that feels good. So, it might not necessarily be what I think I should be do, but be what’s right for me. But, in order to do that, I need to try out some stuff I might not like too. Like planks in yoga. Owie, those are rough. But the more I do them, the stronger and happier I feel and the easier they become.
Social media is NOT my strong suit. I’ve always tried to avoid the “social” of anything. But it’s more and more necessary in our multimedia central world. Which is kind of great. Images are how I reach people, and since social media is so HUGE these days it’s an easy way to get my work out there. But ughhh hashtags and SEO and engaging and bleeeeh. I don’t understand it and I don’t want to do it. Outreach is kind of the last thing on my mind. I just want to stay home in my safe place and snuggle my cat and growl at passersby (this is my space!).
But, maybe it’s not all bad. I have things to say, and I’m willing to bet there are people like me out there that need to know it’s okay to be a little weird and you can still have loving relationships and a successful business.
Lately, I’ve been studying the work ethic and taking some courses by some photographers I find inspiring (and yeah, they’re good at engaging with their audience). Doing so has inspired me to keep trying, to try new things, and continue learning about the “wild west” of social media and business.
So, this in a way is kind of my introduction to the next while. Spring is coming, and I have some traveling coming up and a few projects, and I want you involved. I can’t wait until I feel ready anymore (because that’s neeeever going to happen). So, I’m going to be more diligent in taking you with me, even though that’s kind of scary. But, I want to reach you, and you might want to hear what I have to say.
(photographs by Kayla Coleman)