Do you remember me?
Today, my husband, my Jude, and I all went out to play in the snow. We finally got a blanket of snow on our city and I can’t be happier! Jude doesn’t get many opportunities to play outside, so he was quite squeamish about this weird, wet dust we plopped him in. He does enjoy laying out in the sun on the porch, but that’s a confined space that he has explored over and over again so he knows he understands it. The great outdoors is a much more vast space that he doesn’t really understand.
He didn’t love it. But I thought it was cute.
As a side effect of this playtime, I picked up my camera. For me.
As you probably know already, I had surgery back in the fall (nothing serious), and it caused some disruptions to my mental health. Apparently, even a minor surgery can shake you up real bad, without you realizing it. It was my first invasive surgery, but I wasn’t scared. It was kind of an adventure. I trusted my doctors and was comforted by their kind words. Shout out to UPMC! But, even minor surgery can rock you. Especially if you have a history of depression, your body will panic at the invasion and your hormone levels will get whack. So, while I felt I recovered well, this stifling depression has been a parasite on my heart ever since.
It’s been… hard. I don’t feel like I’ve been living since September. When I don’t have a job to do, I just leave my camera in it’s case and try to forget it. It’s been haunting me. I don’t entirely know how to describe it, but basically, the depression has been keeping me from working. But, I’ve been getting help from my doctor and counselor, and I’m beginning to see in color again. I’m starting to feel again. I miss my husband when we’re apart. I get excited about the snow. I’m anxious to create something beautiful. So, I think I’m coming out of it. I think you’ll be hearing from me more, soon.
Today is a snow day. We’re going to stay in and watch movies and snuggle. I hope you’re doing the same.